biochic
Registered User
Reged: Thu
Posts: 2
Loc: Ocala, FL
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How to shower like a woman
Thu Aug 11 2005 12:05 PM
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How to Shower Like a Woman...
--Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
--Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
--Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
--Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
--Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
--Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
--Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
--Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
--Shave armpits and legs.
--Turn off shower.
--Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
--Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
--Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
--If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How To Shower Like a Man...
--Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
--Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake your privates at her making the "woo-woo" sound.
--Get in the shower.
--Wash your face
--Wash your armpits.
--Blow your nose aiming for the drain.
--Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.
--Shampoo your hair.
--Make a shampoo mohawk.
--Take a whiz.
--Rinse off and get out of shower.
--Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
--Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
--Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake your privates at her and make the "woo-woo" sound again.
--Throw wet towel on bed.
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